The MILF phenomenon: understanding the hot mom fetish
How the desires of many young men turned the taboo ‘mother I’d like to have sex with’ into a pop phenomenon and a controversial label.
M.I.L.F is an acronym for “Mother I’d Like to F**k”, which means, in polite translation, “mother I’d like to have sex with”. It is believed that it originated from the first pornographic websites, in the 1990s, that defined young men’s sexual desires for women old enough to be their mothers.
In general, they were between 35 and 50 years old. The movie American Pie (1999) used and popularized the term in the role of Janine Stifler, a character coveted by her teenage son’s friends. MILF is a very popular video category in online adult entertainment. It is the third most searched category on the Pornhub platform, one of the largest porn portals in the world. Today, searching for MILF content like MILF ass porn vids is as simple as a few clicks away.
Women, moms, and sexy
But what’s behind these fetishes, labels, and taboos? First, the secular idea that motherhood causes the death of sexuality, of the possibility to desire and be desired. It is as if the woman is reborn as a chaste woman. The eroticization of this figure is a clichéd insult among boys: “Oh, really? That’s not what your mom said last night”. If she’s hot, then… ”
There are still prejudiced views and sexist demands on mothers. They think that she should not have sex, should not attract attention, and should not wear low-cut tops or panties. It’s no surprise that a photo of pregnant singer Leila Diniz wearing a bikini shocked many in the 1970s.
Almost five decades later, society still traps modern women between two fears: that having children will ruin their sex appeal; and that staying sexy will make them pathetic.
Beyond desire
Jenny is married and a mother of two, which doesn’t stop her from posting pictures of herself bathing under a waterfall or sharing the following sentence: “Happiness is in the little things. In the clitoris, for example.” Feminists and fetishists are happy, albeit for different reasons. She rejects the titles MILF and boys in their 20s. “I feel anxious because they look like Erick’s friends,” she says. “There’s no libido.” No problem. In theory, MILF is defined as their desire for him – the opposite is not mandatory. Still, it attracted a lot of attention.
American celebrity websites shredded the term when actress Demi Moore, star of the movie Striptease (1996), mother of three daughters, and in her 40s, announced her relationship with handsome actor fifteen years younger, Ashton Kutcher. They were married for seven years. A quick internet search will rank countless famous MILFs and porn videos, while their male equivalent D.I.L.F. (“Dad’s I’d Like to F**k”) is decidedly unpopular.
A difference of view
What’s so weird about a 20-year-old girl’s attraction to a gray-haired grown man with kids? No one has labeled what they consider normal.
Women have been socialized to date older, taller, and more successful men. This helps explain why many men in their 20s are not usually taken seriously by MILFs.
For Bob, a 22-year-old college student, “Girls my age or younger are silly and easy to manipulate.” “I feel attracted to strong women who are superior to me.” The “hierarchical” issue makes this seduction game work in an interesting and even contradictory way. Since men tend to feel more insecure around experienced women, such conquests greatly strengthen their own self-esteem. That’s pretty much how this fetish came to be.
